And i wake up and all these thoughts swirl in my head, slowly dissipating into thin air and I try to grab on to them, hold them before they vaporize, and i have a hunch this time i was on to something, but it eludes me. It had to do with Godot, you know the play, and i understood he was really God they were all waiting for, and even the name implied as much. I even said duh tom myself, it was so obvious, yet a new elevation. And that was just the entry to the maze, and i know it had to do with animals, but for the life of me i cannot recatch those seconds when i drifted from asleep to awake and i know if i just could then it would all come back to me. At the same time i realize the notion is pretty similar to writing down your synopsis when pissdrunk, and its the best idea ever. Only it isn’t, and when you try to read it the day after you just blush, because THIS was it? You cannot believe it, someone must have switched notes while you were commiserating and promising to start a better life, but hold on, why would someone go through the bother of copying your sometimes not so easy to read handwriting, and you know deeper inside somewhere that this is just a fallback option, the goto option before you face the music. Still, the whole exercise has your head buzzing pleasantly for the most of the morning. It seems pleased, and happy to have been put to work, yet also aloof and waiting for something. Something that never seems to finally arrive, which i guess is kind of the idea, but the brains don’t mind, it has nothing better to do anyhow, so you just go with it, and one part of you thinks this should all be put to good use, bet most of you think better not, because this is a rare opportunity to let off some steam and go on a break, as paradoxical as it sounds. As the hours pass the last shreds of that passover state jellifies and let you go, but the pleasant sensation kind of like prickles down your back, and it puts you in this mood, where things sort of just flow, and it is a creative mood, but also a kickback mood, and you savor it, as the long lost unexpected guest, but then you think maybe you should indulge it a wee bit more, and that is the moment you are on the precipe again.

And you are not exactly thrilled about your options.

Johanni

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